Violaine Delahais,
European
Affairs for P.A.R.E.N.T.
Adresse in USA : E-mail: [email protected] |
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1 Rue Daumier
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Re: Hearing before the Committee on the Rights of the Child
United Nations Organization - Geneva - Switzerland
June 9, 1999. Room IX, 2 to 3 pm
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen,
Before proceeding, I would like to express my deepest appreciation to
Mr. Paolo David for his interest in this subject and for his willingness
to schedule a hearing to support the children and their parents victims
of the tragedy of international parental abduction and wrongful retention.
I am also grateful to the other members of the Committee for their interest
and involvement in addressing this subject.
My name is Violaine Delahais. I am a French citizen born and raised
in The Hague, in The Netherlands. I am currently a permanent resident of
the USA. I want to make it clear that I am not a lawyer, I am not a psychologist
or some kind of expert in anything. I am just the proud and sad mother
of Rayan, 8 years old, who has been parentally abducted to Lebanon two
times in four years. As of today, I have had no contact whatsoever with
my beloved son for 601 days. I have been fighting against Child Abduction
for five years not only for Rayan but also for all the victim children.
During these five years, I have been and I am still in touch with many
left-behind parents and Missing Children Organizations around the world.
I could spend hours telling you the most incredible stories that you would
have a hard time to believe; yet they are all true.
Each child abduction is unique although there is a common pattern of
horror, suffering, anger and frustration. I am in charge of the European
Affairs for P.A.R.E.N.T., which stands for Parents Advocating for Recovery
through Education by Networking Together. P.A.R.E.N.T. is an international
coalition of left-behind parents and nonprofit organizations. I have also
been nominated and trained by the Department of Justice in Washington to
be part of a support network of left-behind parents in the USA. This project
is called H.O.P.E., which stands for Help Offered to Parents for Empowerment.
Besides the USA, I am in permanent contact with organizations from France,
Switzerland, Belgium, England, Ireland, Argentina and Australia. We exchange
resources and support, we lobby to try to change the laws and educate the
population and we meet on a regular basis. Most of us are volunteers and
left-behind parents. These wonderful people have raised the money to fly
me here today and speak on behalf of our children.
A. Parental kidnapping defined
One article the American Bar Association (ABA) Journal's starts with
the assertion: "One of the worst terrors a parent can suffer is to have
a child abducted by the other parent."
According to the 1980 Hague Convention, The removal or the retention of a child is to be considered wrongful where -
a. It is in breach of rights of custody attributed to a person, an institution or any other body, either jointly or alone, under the law of the State in which the child was habitually resident immediately before the removal or retention; and
b. At the time of removal or retention those rights were actually exercised,
either jointly or alone, or would have been so exercised but for the removal
or retention.
In other words, this convention provides for children to be returned
to the pre-abduction country of residence regardless of whether a custody
order is in effect (Schwerin, 1988).
B. Incidence
Parental abduction is A SERIOUS AND UNFORTUNATELY GROWING
INTERNATIONAL ISSUE. Yet, Parental Abduction is still not taken
seriously by the governments, law enforcement agencies and the general
public although it is now recognized as a crime in some western countries.
Each year hundreds of thousands of children around the world fall victim
to family abductions. Estimates of such abductions range from approximately
400 per year in Canada to 350,000 per year in the United States. The exact
figures for international child abduction are not known. US Congress estimated
the number of internationally abducted or wrongfully retained American
children at 10,000 when it passed the International Parental Crime Act
of 1993. In England, Reunite, the National Council for Abducted Children,
has recorded a 50% increase since 1995 in the number of children abducted
abroad by an estranged parent. In France, a similar upsurge has been recorded
especially in regard to abductions to Lebanon since the end of the war.
The Swiss Movement Against Child Abduction reports that the number of parental
abductions has doubled in 18 years.
Parental Kidnapping is on the Rise Everywhere
Experts say the number of reported cases of missing children has been
holding steady in virtually every category with one big exception: children
taken by their own parents. Ben Ermini, Director of the missing children's
division at the Virginia-based National Center for Missing & Exploited
Children says that while the number of runaways, stranger abductions and
kids who are lost has remained relatively unchanged, parental kidnappings
have been rising.
Yet, most people are totally ignorant about that subject. Despite the
rapid increase in abduction cases, there is too little awareness of the
phenomenon in the governments. Nor is there much awareness among the populations
at large. As a result, very little is being done to tackle the issue.
It is about time that parental kidnapping stops to be a taboo as sexual
abuse is. It is a serious crime and has to be addressed. Parental abduction
is NOT a "domestic issue" or a "private child custody dispute" : IT
IS A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE. While many believe these children are perfectly
safe because they are with a family member, nothing could be farther from
the truth.
The National Incidence Studies on Missing Abducted, Runaway and Throwaway
Children (NISMART) of 1990 provides the following information about missing
children in the USA:
Of the approximately 355,000 family abductions annually, 46% involve
concealment of the child(ren), transporting them out of State, intent by
the abductor to keep the child indefinitely or to permanently alter custody.
15% of family abductions involve the use of force or violence,
while 75% to 85% of the 355,000 family abductions involve interstate transportation
of the child. About half of family abductions occur before the relationship
between the parents ends. On the other hand, half do not occur until two
or more years after a divorce or separation, usually after parents develop
new households, move away, develop new relationships, or become disenchanted
with the legal system. Sadly, over half occur in relationships with
a history of domestic violence. An estimated 49% of abductors have
criminal records, while most, according to NISMART, also have a history
of violent behavior, substance abuse or emotional disturbance.
It is not uncommon for children victims of family abductions to have
their names and appearances altered, to experience medical/physical neglect,
unstable schooling, homelessness, or frequent moves. These children are
often told lies about the abduction and the left-behind parent, including
that the left-behind parent does not love him anymore, does not want to
take care of him or is dead.
* I know personally of a case of a French/American boy, Marc Copeland, who has been parentally abducted to the USA in August 1998. The FBI already traced him in six different States in the USA and two different locations in Mexico I doubt that this precious 6-year-old is receiving proper schooling with such a lifestyle.
* My own son Rayan El Kadi was locked up in an apartment for 7 months
in Beirut before he began attending school under the constant surveillance
of three armed bodyguards.
Many of the children of family abductions live like fugitives: they
are taught not to trust anyone; told to keep secrets about their past,
they are unable to establish relationships with friends; and always on
the run from the law. As a result, many children victims of family
abductions experience substantial psychological consequences and emotional
distress with trauma symptoms evident for many years after.
Noble and Palmer (1984) stated that children who were forced to live
the lifestyle of fugitives were developmentally slower. They were emotionally
delayed because the children could not form relationships nor express or
understand the emotions related to the abduction experience. Growth and
developmental delay in abducted children was often due to malnutrition
and neglect occurring while the abducting parent was seeking employment
or changing the children's residences, friends, and schools. The intellectual
delay related to infrequent school attendance with a lack of good environmental
stimuli.
Grief and Hegar (1993) found that the children suffered psychological
distress also in the two years after the abduction. Many children were
receiving mental health counseling and approximately 50 percent of the
children were afraid of the abducting parent. Many children were suffering
from the incidents they experienced while abducted. The children were confused
over the episode, had difficulty adjusting upon return to the searching
parent, and had to deal with severe emotional problems. Some children needed
psychiatric hospitalization while others were suicidal (1993:153).
Besides these studies, there exist a second group that examined the
impact of abduction experience. These are clinical studies, some of which
are case reports. Terr (1983) used psychiatric examinations on 18 children,
eight of whom had been successfully abducted by a parent. She found that
the children experienced psychic trauma, fright, long-term grief or rage,
rejected the parents, and displayed exaggerated identification. Senior,
Gladstone, and Nurcombe (1982) in their study of abducted children found
the following common symptoms: bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, regression,
anxiety, depression, and withdrawal. They reported the case of a two-year-old
child who was abducted for five weeks by his mother and suffered from fearful
and depressive-type behaviors and sleep disturbances.
Because of the harmful effects on children, parental kidnapping has
been characterized as a form of child abuse.
For more information on the effects of parental kidnapping on parents
and children, see When Parents Kidnap, Geoffrey L. Greif and Rebecca Hegar,
New York: Free Press 1993.
Studies of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) have established the severity
of psychological damage done to abducted children, suddenly separated from
a parent. The studies have also shown how susceptible the child is to being
systematically alienated by the abductor-parent from the victim-parent.
This PAS syndrome is very similar to the "Stockholm syndrome" well known
in Europe, when hostages start to identify with their captors. In the case
of an abducted child the identification will be the stronger, because of
the age of the "hostage" and the childs relationship with the "captor".
For fear of losing the abducting parent as well, the child will not only
be eager to please, but ready to believe allegations that it has been abandoned
by the victim parent. Testimonies concerning the Parental Alienation Syndrome
have been admitted in courts of law in many states and countries. See
Doctor Darnall studies
The NISMART study also found that children involved in family abductions
are typically taken by the non-custodial parent as an act of revenge against
the other parent. In these situations, children are used as a weapon,
rarely taken because the abducting parent loves the child and fears
for the childs safety. However, even in the best situations, where an abducting
parent loves the child, the ability to provide a safe, stable home environment
is unlikely due to the psychological trauma created by a fugitive lifestyle.
In more threatening situations, hostility, bitterness, and vengeance toward
the other parent motivate the abductor to physically or psychologically
harm the child.
PARENTAL KIDNAPPING IS NOT A "TUG OF LOVE". ITS A CRIME AND INNOCENT
CHILDREN EVEN DIE OF PARENTAL ABDUCTIONS.
In early 1999, in Queens, New York a father killed his two
sons after he said, "If I cannot have them, she (the mother) will not
have them either". The mother reported the boys missing the day they were
taken but the Police did not start searching before three days because
the children were with their father and were wrongly assumed to be safe.
In January 1999, a man from Colorado kidnapped and killed
his daughter and himself. He had been allowed unsupervised visitation
with the girl despite having previously kidnapped her in 1997. After the
1997 episode, the mother pleaded and pleaded to at least get the visits
supervised. Social services determined that unsupervised visits between
father and daughter were appropriate.
May 99 - BROWNSVILLE, Minn. -- A father is under arrest on charges
he killed his young son by abducting him from his home and taping the
boy to a tree to force his ex-girlfriend into marriage. Interviews with
friends of the father, who was a suspect very early in the investigation,
led the police to believe that he would not harm the boy. Authorities decided
to conduct a quiet investigation of the case before finally announcing
the abduction three days later and asking the state clearinghouse for missing
children and the media for help. According to the Police, the father admitted
he took the child out of the house and left him in the woods. He said he
could hear the child crying as he drove away. He was 31/2 years old.
Child abductions are difficult and complex when they occur within one
country. When they involve different countries, they are even more so.
Most people associate child abduction with faraway countries where laws
and customs are very different from ours. But, child abduction within western
societies is much more common than supposed and there has been an explosion
in the number of incidents since the mid-1970s. There are no international
conventions regulating custody matters. Custody orders made in one country
are not necessarily recognized in another. When non-custodial parents abduct
their children from the country in which custody has been given (usually
heading to their home country), the chances of recovering them through
judicial process is slim or almost non-existent when it comes to Islamic
countries. Every year, more and more children find themselves separated
in the most harrowing circumstances from one of their parents.
Individual parents capable of internationally abducting or wrongfully
retaining children are to be FOUND IN EVERY COUNTRY. The question
is whether their governments will control their conduct and protect the
parental rights of foreign parents, especially in light of the international
legal obligations of all countries under either (or both) the Hague Convention
(1980) or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child that guarantee the
role of both parents and the right of children with parents of different
nationalities to spend time in both countries.
Over 50 percent of the searching parents interviewed in the Swaren and
Dalley (1993) study claimed that their child was taken from Canada to the
United States. Both the United States and Europe have a serious problem
in regard to abductions to Germany.
I would like to emphasize the specific problems related to Islamic countries
when it comes to Parental Abduction. The Islamic population of the world
is around one billion, with 30% in the Indian subcontinent, 20% in Sub-Saharan
Africa, 17% in Southeast Asia, 18% in the Arab world, 10% in the Russian
republics and China. Turkey, Iran and Afghanistan comprise 10% of the non-Arab
Middle East. Although there are Muslim minorities in almost every area,
including in Europe, Latin America and Australia, they are most numerous
as a portion of the populations of the Russian republics, Pakistan and
Central Africa. There are estimated 5 millions Muslims in the United States;
Islam is the second religion in France. The Sharia law has been incorporated
into personal status of most of the Middle Eastern countries, excluding
Saudi Arabia and the Arab Gulf States where no codes have been enacted
but which rely on the doctrines of the locally applicable school of Islamic
Law. Of these countries, the Department of States in Washington reports
the largest number of cases involved children abducted to Egypt, Jordan
and Saudi Arabia.
Other countries include:
Iran, Algeria, Iraq, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Morocco, Syria, Tunisia, Yemen, Bahrain, Oman, Qatar, Sudan, Turkey, Bahrain, United Arab Emirates, Pakistan, Malaysia, Indonesia, Afghanistan, Bengla Desh.
50% of the parental abductions in France occurs in four countries: Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco and Egypt; (but more kids are recovered from these countries than from Germany).
England has a serious problem with Libya;
Belgium encounters serious problems with unsolved Moroccan cases.
Sharia Law gives legal custody to the father as well as the control
of the whole family. Children born to a dual-national family where the
father is Muslim, are considered Muslim by the culture and legal traditions
of the father. Although Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women,
the mothers rights are affected by their religious status. If divorced,
a non-Muslim mother can be prohibited from access to her children if those
children reside in the fathers homeland. When remarried, both Muslim and
non-Muslim mothers loose every right to their children. Dual citizenship
of a child born from a cross-cultural marriage is not recognized in Islamic
countries. Minor children cannot travel in the Islamic world without the
fathers permission. In most countries they cannot leave the country without
their fathers permission. Therefore, bilateral treaties between western
countries and Islamic countries are never enforceable because even if court
ordered, visitations cannot occur without the fathers consent. Even the
mothers are prohibited from traveling without the consent of their spouse
in most Islamic countries. Many are wrongfully retained ans abused for
years.
Child Abductions and wrongful retentions in Islamic countries
are HOSTAGE SITUATIONS.
THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN SHOULD BE INTERNATIONAL.
Sadly, children's issues remain an area where national interest is too
often the priority. Cooperation between some Hague Convention countries
is practically non-existent. Judges often do not know the treaty well enough
to enforce it and nationalism takes precedence over the Hague Convention
rules. Non-Hague countries dont respect the UN CRC, as they do NOTHING
to remedy the tragedy of Parental Abduction.
The left-behind parents suffer the frustration and anguish of losing
contact with a beloved child, either in situations in which the whereabouts
of the child are unknown, or in situations in which the whereabouts are
known, but access is limited or denied entirely, such as in most Islamic
countries. They have to deal with the system which is a great deal of frustration
and they always end up financially and emotionally drained.
There is NO IDEAL SOLUTION to these cases. Even if the child is successfully
returned to the left-behind parent in the country of habitual residence,
which is only fair, this child will then be deprived from the abducting
parent, that he loves no matter what. The basic right of every child to
have access to both parents according to the UN Convention on the Right
of the Child will be denied.
IN SHORT, IN PARENTAL ABDUCTIONS
THE ULTIMATE VICTIM IS ALWAYS THE CHILD.
This is why it is crucial to raise awareness about that issue in order
to promote PREVENTION and in an attempt to find INTERNATIONAL REMEDIES.
International abduction and retention of children should be recognized
as a criminal offense in all countries. Most countries, especially Islamic
countries do not recognize such abductions as a crime at all. With the
help of this Committee, we can make progress in addressing these issues,
such as having extradition treaties that would allow extradition for parental
kidnapping whenever both countries recognize the offense as a crime.
Raising awareness can start with the obligation for the countries to
address the issue of parental kidnapping in their report to the UN regarding
their compliance with the CRC Convention. That way, countries will no longer
be able to ignore this issue.
As suggested by Mr. Paolo David on April 14, 1999, special experts from
the Human Rights Commission can start investigating the greatest offenders
of the article 11 of the UN CRC. We need to have studies into the individual
compliance records of each of the signatory countries.
Promoting Prevention can also include that the Committee for the Rights
of the Child provides recommendations to the countries on how to deal with
such cases. We need to educate because most people DONT EVEN KNOW THAT
INTERNATIONAL CHILD KIDNAPPING EXIST.
Providing recommendations such as:
n Encouraging countries to join the Hague convention
n or entering bilateral agreements regarding parental kidnapping with other countries,
n Encouraging countries to explore making better use of diplomatic initiatives in such cases ;
n Encouraging countries to systematically return the children to their
habitual country of residence so that abductors will not be encouraged
to seek assistance in their home country for a court order in their favor.
I strongly believe that assistance and guidance of this Committee would
be of great benefit both to governments, law enforcement personnel who
must quickly respond to these cases as well as to left-behind parents in
international abduction cases.
Again, I appreciate the opportunity to appear before the committee concerning
this most important topic. I wish to thank the Committee for the honor
of speaking about the worlds most precious resource, our children.
Thank you.
Violaine Delahais
European Affairs for P.A.R.E.N.T.
Sources:
The NISMART study of 1990
Parental Abduction Of Children: An Overview And Profile Of The Abductor, Prepared by John Kiedrowski,M.A.(Crim.), C.H.S. Jayewardene, Ph.D., Kiedrowski and Associates, Marlene Dalley, Ph.D. - MISSING CHILDREN'S REGISTRY, R.C.M.P. - P.O. Box 8885 OTTAWA, ONTARIO K1G 3M8 - August 19, 1994.
Testimonies of Paul Marinkovitch, Tom Johnson and Lady Meyer before the Committee of Foreign Relations, US Senate, October 1st, 1998.
The Solomon Protocol, author: Kristin Uhlman, soon to be published by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
Mariages mixtes entre suisses et étrangers, S. Aldeeb, Institut suisse de droit comparé, Dép. Féd. de Justice et Police, 1998, Lausanne.
Collectif de Solidarité aux Mères des Enfants Enlevés, Mères dAlger", France
Vanished Children Alliance, California
Personal Experience